Sarcastic Comebacks are often life savers. Sometimes we encounter situations that involve sarcasm. It’s good if you are the sarcastic one, but if not, it’s not always pleasant.
Are you one of the who is looking for instant replies when it comes to stupid questions, insults by haters? Or are you the one who is in search of some cool and humorous responses when someone compliments you or trying to flirt using pick up lines? You are mostly unarmed for such situations and it feels so not good. A feeling of helplessness and frustration is not at all uncommon. But worry no more. We’re here to arm you with some kick-ass comebacks for boys and girls for all sorts of sarcastic comments. You will find yourself confidently facing off with the masters of sarcastic wit, and you might even land one or two jabs, right where it stings. Yes, we’re preparing an army of bullies who bully the bullies (Dream noble). (we’re preparing people who can understand and rival sarcasm with their own brand of it). So here goes-
Good comebacks when some smart-ass lands a dirty blow
“Wow that’s funny, but still not funnier than what’s on there where it says “your face” in the anatomy books”
“How long did it take you to come up with that?”
“You are just like a pigsty, full of pig shit.”
“I’d like to see things from your perspective, but I cannot get my head that far up my ass”
“Wow, you’re even dumber than you look”
The trick is to basically keep your cool and reply from a place of control. The biggest blow to the smartass will be your unshaken demeanor, and of course the backfire.
Comeback lines when someone makes an obvious mistake and someone else points it out sarcastically
“My God, Sherlock! I wonder how I would have figured that one by myself.”
“Gee I think you are right!”
“All hail the mighty head!”
“I am so sorry for I had no idea that was what happened!”
“Are you sure you’re not a detective?”
There are intellectuals, and there are pseudo intellectuals. The latter kind make it their job to alert everyone about the things that are happening all around, but only on rare occasions do they say anything worth listening to, for a few seconds. Mostly, they just like to act smart. These lines will keep their attitude in check.
Best sarcastic replies when someone is bullying someone else-
” You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?”
“Some day you’ll go far. and I hope you’ll stay there.”
“I’m not a proctologist, but I recognize an asshole when I see one.”
“Everyone’s entitled to act like an asshole once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege.”
” I can’t help imagining how much awesomer the world would be if your dad had just pulled out.”
No one likes a jerk, but that does not that they don’t exist. I personally don’t like bullies. In my book, it is noble deed, as noble as if not more, than praying to God right before your exams. (You can check the “Pass the test” textbook, page no. 000, it’s clearly mentioned there). So arm yourself with some of this Good Good ammunition my dear Sarcats. (Not a spell error, it’s what this team of sarcastic vigilantes should be called if you ask me)
Sarcastic comebacks for sycophants-
“Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case. “
“Sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than open it and remove all doubt.”
“You only annoy me when you’re breathing, really.”
“I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.”
“I promise I will be right here if you are not. Save your energy, Go away.”
Going harsh on the sycophants but if you really are someone important you definitely value your time. (Way more than I do). It is always wise to weed out the people who are just there to fulfill their own motives. Most of all, no one likes a suck-up.
Responses filled with sarcasm for general use-
“Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?”
“I was pro life. Then I met you.”
” I was hoping for a battle of wits but it would be wrong to attack someone who’s totally unarmed.”
“It is really interesting to see how you can make everyone so..disinterested.”
“From your oral diarrhea I can conclude that your rotten brain smells worse than my week old socks, and my socks can raise a dead man”
“The village called. They’d like their idiots back. You better get going.”
I hope you liked the selection. Do you know more of these comebacks. Do hit us back with what you think in the comment section. We’d really like to hear from you. We out!