Sarcastic Remarks and its Most Common Examples for Daily Usage

Though sarcastic remarks may come in handy, use it smartly, it may also hurt others.

Have you ever, instead of face palming yourself in response to an annoying statement, replied with the whip of humor using a sarcastic remark? If yes, then let me welcome you to the league of most extraordinarily short tempered sarcastic gentlemen/gentle ladies.

Time to time, we need to exercise something called the sarcasm muscle of the BRAIN, which is commonly used to have fun at the expense of, good old stupidity. This muscle, if properly worked, can make you the most feared of all super humans; for we live in a world full of robots, disguised as humans.
OKAY, I’m kidding! or am I?

Believe what you will, but sarcasm does work in coping up with the day to day frustrations and the social harassment which we all sometimes experience. Now our league (Well let’s just call ourselves (LOMESTSG, cause it’s shorter than the league of mos….wait a min) consists of people who look ordinary and are spread all over the earth. We have here for you, few of the commonly used sarcastic remarks by them, which you can find a use for in your own life, if you so desire. So, here we go-

1. Most commonly used sarcastic remarks

Well, aren’t we just a ray of frigging sunshine.

Sometimes, when you’re trying hard to lighten up a bad atmosphere, some of the “Feelers” need to add their “Feelings”, to the mix. They aren’t wrong, but what they don’t understand is that the environment needs a little sunshine when they’re running around throwing storms. Now, this remark help them remember. They may just be lost in themselves.

It also works fine for the members of “all time pessimists” group, when they are on their mission of, eating the heart out of happiness.

I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

Some people just don’t realize that the planets does have other humans who don’t exactly think like them. They have themselves as their priority and so they don’t care what it is that you want. This remark may help you set some boundaries. For other possibilities, sky is the limit.

Jealousy is a disease…get well soon!

It’s hard for some people to see other people doing better. Well, better than them anyway. I read this remark and I kind of got the look on the face of a jealous person. It was PRICELESS!

Oh..I didn’t tell you..then it must be none of your business.

The only problem with Judas was, he didn’t know how not to stick his head in the places it shouldn’t be in, if you know what I mean.

We often get to meet people who have some serious boundary issues, and that can be quite bothersome to say the least. No doubt there are many good souls who do it out of genuine care but mostly, it’s just that some people don’t know when they’re being pesky. When you meet those people, you need to know how to tell them off; and this is the sarcastic way.

Do you know who I am?

Why, have you forgotten?
When it’s time for them to get off the high horse.
There are some individuals who pride themselves of being a gift to all humankind. Of being high and mighty lords of creation, and of having dominion over all earthly beings at the very least. They just cannot digest the fact that someone can have their own will, so they think they need to remind us something. But is it us who need the reminder?

2. Funny Statements for someone you are tired of seeing

  • How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
  • Earth is full. Go home.
  • Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.
  • Do I look like a frigging people person?
  • You! Off my planet!!
  • Is it time for your medication or mine?

3. Witty comments for revenge

  • I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
  • You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
  • Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.

4. Humor Directed at  men and women

  • Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
  • Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
  • A woman’s favorite position is CEO.

5. Sarcastic Insults about looks and personality

  • You look like shit. Is that the style now?
  • Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  • I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
  • Gene Police!!! Get out of the pool!
  • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  • Back off! You’re standing in my aura.
  • I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
  • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

6. Funny remarks about work

  • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
  • I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
  • This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
  • I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
  • I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
  • I’m just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

7. Adult and flirty comments

  • It ain’t the size, it’s… no, I’m sorry, it really is the size.
  • A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth.
  • Just smile and say “Yes, Mistress. ”
  • Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
  • One of us is thinking about s*x… OK, it’s me.
  • Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?I wish for a world of peace, harmony, & nakedness.
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • Let me show you how the guards used to do it.Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

    8. Some Random witty remarks

  • Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
  • Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
  • The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
  • And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
  • I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  • Do they ever shut up on your planet
  • I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.
  • Okay, okay, I take it back! Un-Screw You!
  • Macho Law forbids me from admitting I’m wrong.
  • This is a mean and damned cruel world & I want my nappy & medication right now!
  • Everyone thinks I’m psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.
  • Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
  • Did I mention the kick in the groin you’ll be receiving if you touch me?
  • I plead contemporary insanity.
  • And which dwarf are you?
  • Don’t worry. I forgot your name, too!
  • I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

Hope you liked this article. We post such awesomeness on a daily basis. Keep us with you for the cheers. Till next time LOMESTSG’ iens (We’re working on it!).